No Regrets
by Adobo-chan
Summary: Slight RyoSaku. Nonyaoi. Life is like a tennis match. A person can let it pass them by or keep pushing forward until breaking point. But, no matter what can kind of match, let's play with no regrets.


AN: Hey! Okay, I had this on a spur of the moment thought. It's not realistic but I dunno. I really wanted to write an angst that was more than just a one-sided love with no actual competition. I mean, I'm just experimenting but I'm bored and curious. Please review my one-shot! Thank you. ((bows))

Summary: One-shot. One-sided RyoSaku. Accidentally eavesdropping on a conversation between Ryoma and Momo-senpai, Sakuno finds the reason why Ryoma isn't interested in girls in Japan. And, in introspect, she learns more about herself and her relationship with Echizen Ryoma.

Disclaimer: All rights reserved.

SxSxSx

No Regrets

SxSxSx

Today was just not my day.

First, I was late for second period. Then, I noticed that I forgot my lunch and had to impose on Tomo-chan. I had clean up duty, so I missed tennis practice, both for me and Ryoma-kun's. Then, to top it all off, Obaa-san tells me she can't take me out tomorrow to get my new tennis shoes. However, I knew she would find me a replacement to take me.

Knowing her, it would most likely be Ryoma-kun.

Feeling the blush I had taken on my face, I couldn't help but look forward to the prospect of seeing Ryoma-kun. The small crush I harbored was now growing into something strong and unrequited. Although the thought that he would never love me would depress me a little, I also knew that I should never give up. After watching so many incredible matches, I learned that pushing yourself to the limit, even if it was futile in the end, was how you should live. No regrets. Live life to the fullest and don't look back.

However, drawn from my thoughts, I quickly found my stomach grumbling. Finding myself hungry, I couldn't help the thought of something to eat before dinner. Knowing where a nearby burger joint was, I walked into the fast food place and quickly placed my order. While waiting for my food, I could hear the laughter that was all too familiar to me, along with the nonchalant grunt of annoyance that accompanied it.

Flushing again, I quickly avoided the two pairs of eyes that had went to the register.

And, of course, it had to be Momochan-senpai and Ryoma-kun.

However, I was quickly called to grab my order and did so with a fast pace. There were seats near the window and I watched as the Seigaku regulars took their seats at a nearby table. Conversation began, and I found myself listening as I began to eat my food.

"Ne, Echizen?" Momo-senpai began, as the younger boy looked up at him, "Why are you not interested in girls? I mean, you have half the student body in your fanclub. Not even Tezuka-buchou is that popular, but he is in Germany right now... Still, I've always wondered why your hormones haven't kicked in."

I could see Ryoma give our senpai a sharp look through the transluscent glass and get up to retrieve their orders. Momo followed suite while giving him an, "Oi! Echizen!" Very Momo-like, indeed.

And although I shouldn't have listened in, I was curious too, and watched as Ryoma and Momo-senpai sat back down. Not letting the subject drop, Momo's taunts and teases gave the vein in Ryoma's forehead a twitch before it settled down. This pattern continued until Ryoma gave his answer, obviously unwilling to tell but having no other way to calm him down.

"I already have someone."

The fry that I had taken in my hand had dropped to the tray, as I heard Momo's catcalls again. He quickly began poking fun at the cat-eyed preteen, while I quickly lost my appetite. However, I couldn't leave my seat and I had caught my ears on their conversation between them, unwilling to pull away. Even as my heart took a hit, I still wanted to hear this. I _needed_ to hear this. Or, I'd be left with a broken heart and curious mind. I couldn't stand having both.

He spoke of how she lived in America and had been his neighbor. Rambunctious, lively and always easy to be around, I heard him say. For some reason, I thought of a female Eiji, which brought a bitter smile to my face. Opposites attract, don't they, Ryoma-kun? Which was why you never pushed Eiji-senpai away when he hugged you, or why you never pulled away from Momo-senpai, but instead became closer. They reminded you of her, and that's why you never saw anyone else but your teammates and that girl.

Before I knew it, I had stood up and thrown away my half-eaten food, too tired to think about this. I had always had a soft spot for the energetic types too, which was why Tomo-chan was my best friend. She and I were so different, which was why we mixed so well. It worked in more cases than one, I see.

As I made my way to the door, I cringed at Momo-senpai's, "Hey, Ryuuzaki!" I couldn't ignore him. Curse his bad timing and my heart, which still pounded at seeing Ryoma.

Forcing my ever present smile, I looked up and smiled as sweetly as my heart would allow me since it was slowly cracking. I walked over to them, keeping my gaze away from Ryoma-kun. Thankfully, he didn't not look up but nodded to show he knew I was present. But if he had looked up, the shattering of my heart would be loud in my ears, and I knew I wasn't ready for that.

"Ah... Hello, Momochan-senpai, Ryoma-kun," I said, keeping it as casual as I could. However, I couldn't help the fact that it was becoming harder to take my eyes off my shoes, which fascinated me since I was too upset to look up.

"So, Ryuuzaki? What are you doing out so late. I thought you would be at home by now," Momo-senpai said, and I gave him an apologetic smile, though I'm not sure why. I guess I wasn't the type to stay out too late, was I? Then again, I've never had such a day before and I think my nerves were beginning to take their toll.

"Well, I had clean-up duty, and I had to see Obaa-san..." I replied, wanting to smile and laugh it off, but I couldn't. I couldn't just keep what I hid so desperately, a shattering heart and a wave of grief, in like it was normal. I was in love with someone who, I thought, might love me back. Faithfully I stayed because I thought he would come to me too.

I was wrong.

"Ne, Ryoma? Didn't the old woman tell you something after practice? Something about tomorrow..." senpai said, though I could see a bit of a grin on his face. He was hiding something, though I really didn't know what it was. I guess I'm just a little dense, but I knew he was signalling something.

Still unable to face Ryoma, though, I kept my head partially downcast as he looked at me. I could melt under those eyes, I have many times before, but never quite like this. Now, I was shaking because I knew the truth and I couldn't blind myself from it now. The tennis prince everyone had come to love and hate was in love with a girl on the other side of the Pacific ocean, which meant no one could compete with her. Yet, even though I knew this, it didn't stop the pounding of my heart or the blush crawling up my neck, all because of him.

"That's right. You need tennis shoes, right Ryuuzaki?" he said, so distant as if everything was normal. I wanted to smile, bitterly, because I knew that there was something else behind that facade. My feelings that I never wanted, never needed, were what held me to him and cause my panicked state. And yet, these feelings hurt me because I had let them get too far, even for me.

I nodded my consent, forgetting why I was standing there for a second. He quickly told me where to meet him, not really going over in detail about it. Not that I expected him to. This was just another thing that was so Ryoma about him. I said my thanks and bowed, before rushing home. Although, I distinctly remember hearing something from Momo to Ryoma-kun, but I chose to ignore it. I didn't want to hear what they had to say to each other anymore. One time is _more_ than enough.

As soon as I got home, I immediately skipped dinner and went to my room. I finished my homework and chores in record time, only pausing for a drink and snack every so often. There was also an interval for TV, which I used to keep myself busy. I didn't want to think for a while so I did everything I could before I went to sleep. Dwelling on my thoughts would not lead down a good road, so why think about it at all?

Finally, I had decided to get ready for bed and had done my routine once more. Nothing special or amazing, just anything to keep me occupied. I had the weirdest feeling in my stomach, telling me I wouldn't sleep well. And aren't your gut instincts usually correct? I guess so because, when I laid in bed, I found no way to get to sleep. Instead, I stared at my ceiling, and today's events creeped up on me.

Why, Ryoma?

Why did you have to be in love, with a girl that I can't compete with because she's so far away? I had always been there for you, though I haven't known you as long. Still, I cared about you, cheered for you ( with Tomo-chan present too), and had known you before anyone else. Even though you forgot me, I could never get you out of my head. That's just how you are to me, and I couldn't help but be drawn to you and your tennis.

And now I know why you were never drawn to me, why you were never effected by my constant presence in your life. It was because you already had someone, even though she was far away, cheering for you without any hesitance. She saw what was good in you that I see now. I understand how she feels, and I wonder if she had a hard time with you too. Did you break her heart more than once, like you do with me everyday? Or were you so intrigued by her that you saw no one else compared?

These thoughts consumed me, and I couldn't help but wonder why. Why was she, a girl who was part of your past, still so present in your mind? What kept her there, and would I ever be able to take that spot in your heart that you've reserved in her honor? I knew that, deep in my subconscious, that I had no right to it, to claim your heart. After all, you didn't notice many and I was among them. But, I still feel so jealous that your heart isn't mine...

_Oh God..._

Is that the reason? Is it really because...?

I let my wide eyes close, my forearm covering the look of enlightenment that graced my face. I get it now. I understand why I can't take that place in your heart and why you can't see me. It's because, in reality, I don't really see you either. I see a prince, someone whose untouchable, which was why I kept my distance but still cheering. I was lost in a faceless crowd, wasn't I? You already had a group of supporters, you never needed more. So, here I am, lost in envy and heartbreak when, in truth, you never really had my heart.

I gave it to you, yes, but that didn't mean that you accepted. You never saw me hand over my feelings; you hardly saw any of my feelings because I was caught in this fangirl craze. But I did care for you, even though you didn't notice, and that tells me exactly why you never saw me. I never took the chance, went out on a limb, to tell you what I felt and how I saw you.

Not as a tennis genius.

Not as Prince of the Courts.

You wanted someone who could see Echizen Ryoma, and still find you amazing.

To be honest, I never saw that. But she did.

Looks like I went against my own motto... No regrets. Life is meant to be full of experiences, not excuses. Now that I think about it, I know that I started this journey by your side. Although you may not see me, I'm there, trying to keep up. You've taught me so much, Ryoma-kun. With your tennis, you showed me that tenacity, even when everything is against you, it's the experience you want. The feeling that you've accomplished something over the fact that you broke everything on your way to get there.

You helped me see that, and now I know that meeting you was not by chance, nor by fate alone. It was a meeting, though coincidental it seemed, we still met for some kind of reason. What it is, I'm not sure but I know that it wasn't just one-sided. You helped me realize how life should be, and that, with everything that happens, take what you gan get from it. I don't know what I can give you, though, in exchange for this philosophy. I don't know if I can give you anything at all.

But I won't worry. While you're here, Ryoma, I'll be close to you, even if I don't seem like it. Now that I can see what you want me to see, I won't wonder so much about why I seem insignificant to you. I won't question why you treat me the way you do. All I want is to hold onto this strange and neverending bond we've forged. Whether I'm competing for your heart, like the rest of your admirers, or just caught in the momentum of the crowd, I'll always be near. I won't leave because I need you, and I hope you need me too.

Now, I can finally find what you want Ryoma-kun. You don't need friends, you don't need stalkers, and I can see you don't need a sweetheart. I don't know what I can be to you, but it won't be in vain. I'll make you remember me, just like I'll always remember you. So, for now, in this life of tennis, you are my opponent with whom I'll get stronger and learn by.

Sometimes life may seen like a service-ace and pass right by me that I forget what I'm doing, but you'll be there to snap me out of my daze. Or, it may seem like a long rally, when I know I'm just going in circles and it seems pointless as to why I'm here with you. Then you'll smash the ball, and I'll understand why we kept going back and forth, while it seemed like eternity. I'll play this match with you until it's Game and Set. Then we'll move to our next opponents, but always remember what we learned.

I still haven't thanked you though, but I'll find a way. That, or I may feel guilty about not returning the favor you've given me. I'll keep this match going as long as I can. I'll play hard and give you everything I've got to prove I'm worth your time, just like I know you're worth my own. I won't let it end here, our game, our journey, our almost nonexistent relationship, it will keep going. I'll push my limits so I can have you near, just a little bit longer.

I want to keep playing our game, even though I may not fit completely into your life, I really want this. This exhilerating feeling and knowing I'm blessed to have met you, and that I'll touch you with a gift of my own someday. After all, I know you don't like to do something without a point. And I'm learning, little by little, that life is full of chances. I want to take them all and I'll work for them, just as you have.

So that, at the end of our match, there will be no regrets.

SxSxSx

AN: YAY! One-shot done! A random little piece but I hope you enjoy. Angst isn't my thing but it has a good message, I think. I hope everyone will review and maybe a sequel. I don't think so though, it would ruin Sakuno's characterization. But, that's just me.

Well, till next time!

Much love,

Adobo-chan


End file.
